how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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