I smell stomach acid.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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