just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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