I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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