I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
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i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
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direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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