true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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