so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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