i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Randomize
