yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
