Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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