lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
