Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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