roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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