so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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