do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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