I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
