im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
