I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
