i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
