no, he came in my armpit
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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