i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
