Your tits are I can't wait for
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
