Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.

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(949): View more from California

so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.

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(512): View more from Texas

I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking

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(613): View more from Ontario

So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(916): View more from California

17 year olds will be the death of me.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either

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(716): View more from New York

Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada

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(806): View more from Texas

I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch

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