walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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