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• (440): View more from Ohio

  so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  I hate you

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.

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• (903): View more from Texas

  On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"

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• (406): View more from Montana

  all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?

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