Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (669): View more from California

  I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (669): I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation. http://tfl.nu/imft
  Replies (10) Good night (1342) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low http://tfl.nu/wg0q
  Replies (24) Good night (930) Bad night (4391)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me http://tfl.nu/ze3z
  Replies (86) Good night (1674) Bad night (23739)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/9esh
  Replies (58) Good night (896) Bad night (11645)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week http://tfl.nu/5wm5
  Replies (32) Good night (6788) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo http://tfl.nu/4j6u
  Replies (22) Good night (8321) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father http://tfl.nu/ngdo
  Replies (44) Good night (2065) Bad night (9185)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday. http://tfl.nu/lawx
  Replies (14) Good night (3197) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left. http://tfl.nu/p749
  Replies (8) Good night (2894) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/sask
  Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (1898)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars http://tfl.nu/qdtl
  Replies (9) Good night (1564) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot. http://tfl.nu/rrmy
  Replies (6) Good night (1568) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself? http://tfl.nu/fnlw
  Replies (2) Good night (743) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground. http://tfl.nu/gfvp
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life. http://tfl.nu/hprn
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (282)

Randomize