I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...