My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
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17 year olds will be the death of me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
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Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch