His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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