Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
