Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
