When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
then he tried to convert me to islam
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
