The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we're so committed to being not committed
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
