p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
