You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
