I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
