Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize