I just made out with a guy for $7.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Never joke about your clitoris.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
