dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
