who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
