Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
where are my eyebrows?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
