If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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