I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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