it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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