Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
