Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize