How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.