awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.