Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.