Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week