i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.