i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize