My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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