I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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