Acid is not a monday night drug
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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