I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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