Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
