pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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