Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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