either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
