I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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