I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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