Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
