I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so explain again why im purple
no
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
