I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
