So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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