There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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