well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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