Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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