Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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