I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
