I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
