Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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